Thursday, December 19, 2013

Emerging from Anesthesia

I thought I was attached to a piece of plywood.  And I was stuck underneath four rungs.  I got out from one of the rungs and then I thought to myself "I have to do this three more times?"

And then I realized that I was not attached to piece of plywood but actually in the hospital.  I hear the voices of friends but I have no visual memory of the time right after I woke up.  It's also entirely possible that my eyes were closed.

I wonder if I'm okay.  I'm awake but I was told I could emerge a little messed up in terms of walking, talking and thinking for a few days after surgery.  Before surgery I asked if they could guarantee anything in terms of how I would feel when I woke up.  After a bit of negotiation they guaranteed I would have a sore throat because of the intubation.

My throat is sore.  Sweet!

And, I am really fucking thirsty.  

"I want water"

"Take little sips"

Sip, sip.  Water has never been so awesome.  

I take a huge sip.  GULP.
And there goes the straw.

"Please!  Water.  What do I have to do for water?   Ask me a question.  I'm Jamie.  I'm in Duke Hospital.  On the eighth floor.  Obama is the President.  I want water.  I promise I won't take a big sip."

They let me sip water from a teeny tiny sponge on a stick.   

"Am I peeing?  I feel like I'm peeing, but I feel like I'm not peeing.  The boys in the room need to leave.  I'm too classy to pee in front of men."

"Can I get more water?"

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